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Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

*   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

*   I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

*   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

*   If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

*   We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

*   War does not determine who is right — only who is left.

*   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

*   The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

*   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

*   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

*   How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

*   Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

*   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

*   I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

*   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

*   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

*   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

*   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

*   A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

*   Hospitality is making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

*   Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

*   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

*   There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

*   I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

*   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

*   You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

*   Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

*   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5 thoughts on “Paraprosdokian

  1. “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong” – ek het daai onlangs raakgeleef. Gelukkig het die ‘you’ ingestem om met my te agree… so, now we’re both ‘right’…🙄 well, sort of. Laa’k maar eerder sê nou’s ons altwee ‘ok’:mrgreen:

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